Monday's are always strange , but this one was the strangest I've encountered yet. I've walked my last line with a job, but they are "red taping" my return, of which no return will be and that is known. And change is adventure is underway. I hope today isn't the strangest yet.
After having given my resignation, upon leaving work I got an urge to visit my dad. It had been about about a month and a half. And sadly I had forgotten his birthday and felt bad about not being able to attend a party for him, but I'm sure he would have understood. I guess things happen for a reason though.
When I arrived at my dads this morning, I didn't expect to find him awake. Fortunately he was, as his front door was open and his sprinklers were on. It was as if I had seen him yesterday. He held no respite and explained to him my current disposition when I noticed Rascal, a female rotweiler with whom I had once spent a summer caring for her and her brothers while they had disease akin to their species, and the two latter we had later given away. We had kept the female, but in all of her life she was never bred, she was the sole offspring of our two previous rotweilers, Rosco & Roxy. R&R&R, yes. I saw them to their end as well.
Rascal was wearing a bandage around her paw/foot, in fact it was a make shift bandage, a white cotton sock to be exact. It sort of looked homely. She didn't get off the couch once when I was there in the morning but yet she seemed relaxed and I didn't think too much about her condition and how dire it might have been at that point and considering my dad was going to take her to the vet this afternoon. After catching up on things past, we parted ways to run errands. (I had also declared tomorrow (today), D-day to someone).
Later that afternoon when I received a call asking if I would go to the vet and that the severity was explained in inevitable details that I at first didn't want to realize. And so forth a decision was made to euthanize her suffering, I think I would want this as well considering the circumstances. And selflessly the decision was made. Too bad humans didn't really have this option or if it was, it's considered "taboo".
Today I consider myself fortunate, for the position I have put myself in, without that I don't think today would have ended in this kind of feeling of guilt & hope. It seems like a uncomfortable feeling but in comparison to her constant suffering, it is also selfless and I would want it to be done if I were in that position as well.
Our last goodbyes were in a small room with a stainless steel death cart. They drug her in on blankets and we gave her what was probably her last meal, a few dog biscuits. I sat with her and gazed into her dark lights of eyes, and at first I could tell she was afraid and tried to comfort her. I think she knew her leg was bad. I sat with hercrosslegged, until I was reluctantly told to we should get going. I don't think all the time in the world would have been enough at that point, if time could expand I wish it would've then. Upon stepping out of the room she slowly got up and watched us leave.....
And goodbye...
After having given my resignation, upon leaving work I got an urge to visit my dad. It had been about about a month and a half. And sadly I had forgotten his birthday and felt bad about not being able to attend a party for him, but I'm sure he would have understood. I guess things happen for a reason though.
When I arrived at my dads this morning, I didn't expect to find him awake. Fortunately he was, as his front door was open and his sprinklers were on. It was as if I had seen him yesterday. He held no respite and explained to him my current disposition when I noticed Rascal, a female rotweiler with whom I had once spent a summer caring for her and her brothers while they had disease akin to their species, and the two latter we had later given away. We had kept the female, but in all of her life she was never bred, she was the sole offspring of our two previous rotweilers, Rosco & Roxy. R&R&R, yes. I saw them to their end as well.
Rascal was wearing a bandage around her paw/foot, in fact it was a make shift bandage, a white cotton sock to be exact. It sort of looked homely. She didn't get off the couch once when I was there in the morning but yet she seemed relaxed and I didn't think too much about her condition and how dire it might have been at that point and considering my dad was going to take her to the vet this afternoon. After catching up on things past, we parted ways to run errands. (I had also declared tomorrow (today), D-day to someone).
Later that afternoon when I received a call asking if I would go to the vet and that the severity was explained in inevitable details that I at first didn't want to realize. And so forth a decision was made to euthanize her suffering, I think I would want this as well considering the circumstances. And selflessly the decision was made. Too bad humans didn't really have this option or if it was, it's considered "taboo".
Today I consider myself fortunate, for the position I have put myself in, without that I don't think today would have ended in this kind of feeling of guilt & hope. It seems like a uncomfortable feeling but in comparison to her constant suffering, it is also selfless and I would want it to be done if I were in that position as well.
Our last goodbyes were in a small room with a stainless steel death cart. They drug her in on blankets and we gave her what was probably her last meal, a few dog biscuits. I sat with her and gazed into her dark lights of eyes, and at first I could tell she was afraid and tried to comfort her. I think she knew her leg was bad. I sat with hercrosslegged, until I was reluctantly told to we should get going. I don't think all the time in the world would have been enough at that point, if time could expand I wish it would've then. Upon stepping out of the room she slowly got up and watched us leave.....
And goodbye...