So where do I begin? I've been feeling pretty well lately. I've got things to look forward to. I've got a chance to get my life back together. I can't waste this opprotunity and I must have something to show this time. That was until I fell asleep. My dreams have been really bothering me, these past couple of days she appeared, although briefly.
To combat this occurance when I went to bed and said a few words to myself, wishing not to see her (in any dreams) and that and I'm feeling better about our separation and that I hope she's happy. The dream start off strange and I really wont go into that because it doesn't make any sense. It has to do with certain types of drugs which is strange because I've been clean for months, which is quite an acheivement for me, it had been a long time since I've been clear headed. Not to digress, towards the end of the dream I had seen her and was consciously trying to avoid her but not in an offending way. We we're in a cafeteria and she was seated in front of me, but three or four tables away, with friends. A friend of her's approached me and started whispering in my ear about how she really doesn't want it to be like this and wants me back but doesn't know how to approach it, because she thinks I will be resentful.
After hearing this I decide to make contact. It was difficult to get through but she said hello and was friendly, she didn't speak much and I felt uncomfortable, she then got up from the seat and started to leave and as she left she turned around and said bye with a large smile on her face and called me Tommy Tarantino and caressed her mid section. Doesn't make sense to me, where the hell did that name come from? And come to think about it, I don't know if she said hi or bye when she was walking away. Maybe this could be her saying good bye for good, my dreams will see.
It was agony to wake up. I felt like a chance was ficticiously there and upon my eyes opening I realized my reality. Just last night, I was fine with it and that is the hardest thing, that my dreams are affecting my life's outlook. Today I wept, I haven't wept in weeks, maybe more.
Prior nights dreams:
"Naming"
Driving on a road made of palm frawns.
Strange People, Strange Places. Shacks with lots of trash in front. Scarfaced black kid angrily rapping. The blue eyed, dark haired woman, that seemed untrusting at first, but quickly I reassured where my eyes lie.
Unfortunately, I wish I could remember more, but it just leaves my head so fast.
To combat this occurance when I went to bed and said a few words to myself, wishing not to see her (in any dreams) and that and I'm feeling better about our separation and that I hope she's happy. The dream start off strange and I really wont go into that because it doesn't make any sense. It has to do with certain types of drugs which is strange because I've been clean for months, which is quite an acheivement for me, it had been a long time since I've been clear headed. Not to digress, towards the end of the dream I had seen her and was consciously trying to avoid her but not in an offending way. We we're in a cafeteria and she was seated in front of me, but three or four tables away, with friends. A friend of her's approached me and started whispering in my ear about how she really doesn't want it to be like this and wants me back but doesn't know how to approach it, because she thinks I will be resentful.
After hearing this I decide to make contact. It was difficult to get through but she said hello and was friendly, she didn't speak much and I felt uncomfortable, she then got up from the seat and started to leave and as she left she turned around and said bye with a large smile on her face and called me Tommy Tarantino and caressed her mid section. Doesn't make sense to me, where the hell did that name come from? And come to think about it, I don't know if she said hi or bye when she was walking away. Maybe this could be her saying good bye for good, my dreams will see.
It was agony to wake up. I felt like a chance was ficticiously there and upon my eyes opening I realized my reality. Just last night, I was fine with it and that is the hardest thing, that my dreams are affecting my life's outlook. Today I wept, I haven't wept in weeks, maybe more.
Prior nights dreams:
"Naming"
Driving on a road made of palm frawns.
Strange People, Strange Places. Shacks with lots of trash in front. Scarfaced black kid angrily rapping. The blue eyed, dark haired woman, that seemed untrusting at first, but quickly I reassured where my eyes lie.
Unfortunately, I wish I could remember more, but it just leaves my head so fast.